American Anxiety

by Shelly

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released December 11, 2016

Thank you for listening to my song.
written, recorded, mixed and "mastered" by Billy Pompey, May 2016 - December 2016.

Clara Albright-vocals on track 3, 19, 23.
Brandon Mcdole-vocals on track 19.
Jacqui Lempert-vocals on track 4, 21.
John Sciortino-verse and vocals on track 3.
Moto-Suke Kiyowara-verse on track 10.
Nick Miller-album artwork.



all rights reserved


Shelly Riverview, Michigan

im shelly


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Track Name: Shambles
you'll be the silhouette, i'll be the ghost
cut the moon in half
Track Name: Something Bad
everybody look away, i am gonna do something bad
let me down again, steady marianne
water mineral so cold. heavy on my throat i've been told
bathing in the sink, dining all alone

i am just as lonely as the last time i threw out all of my pictures i had saved for the future

everybody hands on deck, i am gonna rock this boat home
sail across the brine, 'til the end of time
i'm expecting casualties on this sea myself included
if we get lucky, no one will stay at sea

i am just as lonely as the last time i threw out all of my pictures i had saved for the future. i am just like everyone else: 5'10'' with nothing but a guide light, but the color keeps fading
Track Name: Change
can't tell you the truth
face is turning blue
holding back my breath
i'd rather my death
hide away, i'll hide away
in my corner's where i'll stay

on and on and on we go
never coming back to home
think about your life, wheres the love in lie? can you keep it straight?
i don't know i don't know

such a bad habit
i do it for you
maybe the freedom
maybe i can't choose
breaking the locks off all of the doorways
maybe i'll feel good
maybe i can change

i'll wait until its comfortable to say that i'm something else
won't take another tumble and fall to fake a response to what's my fault. a mistake is what i call my own

such a bad habit
i'll never stop i'll never quit
breaking the locks off
maybe i'll think of something new
Track Name: Earth to Andrea
dog dead and walk through the park
see the shadows of the people you would die for
got a crossbow shot through the heart
would it kill you to listen to anything?

eyesore and god awful tone
that's my name i know that i gotta keep it
never wander off on your own, because i know you can do anything
do anything

earth to andrea, you've been staring at the wall for what feels like two hours. are you ok?
i'm sorry about your brother, i know we never liked eachother
he probably didn't know any better
it's hard to move on when you can't do anything
do anything
Track Name: Go My Way
took away my parasol, then i gave in to the rain
soaked and cold, i'm so spread out
i don't want you to go my way
so don't go my way

picking up what's left behind, then i bring it all inside
justify my rude order. lock the gate and shut the door
and don't go my way

don't go my way
don't you dare go my way
Track Name: Pushover
im so carless, indecisive, ordinary, and too quiet
left my jacket, tennis racket, water bottle, and my shoes at home

whats my name again? pick apart my brain again and find out who i am as i roll in the sand. take my life away. tell me what to do and i will do all that you say. i'm an open bag of hay in the wind

last September, or October, maybe April... i can't recall
i was thinking i am garbage, maybe that is further from the truth than i thought
Track Name: Present, Flow, the Passing of time
go with your mind only pain comes out your chest, embossed in gold, forever to be sorry
and all the stones repeat all your past-time lies
a boring time when things were greyer
so when the sea and myself apart from me combine in two to make a lake of losers: one stormy day we'll decide to shift the tide, capsize the boats, and end all dry land

when i go to sleep i lie on my bed face down
i close my eyes and it feels like i'm upside down. i'm having a dream where there's seven cards in a line "get in line" "i am fine" i am so disgusting and i can't hold up my own weight in my own way

and if you see shadows surrounding me, know that you can believe i'm from a ghost town. inside the walls, there is nothing to be found except some pictures from better times
Track Name: Reassure
i'm infamous for being so uptight
my family went to sleep when i woke up tonight
and whats the cause of my self sabotage?
i don't know anymore
Track Name: Moonlight
moonlight cascades along the awning of our cabin
sounds of a highway in the distance keep me calm
breathe in. the trees that talk at night are not so lonely
breathe out. five more days, i'll never feel the same
locked into a nine person room
headphones on, happy gone

trying to recover my thoughts. the holes in my head create bubbles of snot, asleep on the sofa it must be some kind of miracle, we played our songs of pop music until the shaking of arms that would bring us to stop. whistle and walking away from our spots. we had done it right. now the ends in sight

stomping on ball gowns and wedding dresses
simulating heartbreak in my sleep
so i don't have to deal with it in the real world
if i wanted you to be here, then i'd ask you
if you looked inside my subtlety you'd find a stranger footing
Track Name: ナミ

Chigiriki na
Katami-ni sode wo
Sue no Matsu-Yama
Nami kosaji to wa.

Our sleeves, all wet with tears, attest
That you and I agree
That to each other we'll be true,
Till Pine-tree Hill shall be
Sunk far beneath the sea.
Track Name: Cause and Effect
cause and effect take their toll again in autumn when the world is red. never take care. always leave instead. tomorrow and until i'm old enough, i wont understand what time you come home each day. so i'll sit by the window and stare
Track Name: Movie Night
guess we got here right on time, at the end of all the previews
tombstone stare back at me, from here on out it'll always be you
the lens shines from the back of the room as i collide with the velvet
a little pocket made just for me.
this will be my biggest regret

can you help me defeat it? i need support from my movie cast.
the sun has reigned for far too long
do i have something to beat it? something weatherproof and super sleek
these clouds have rained for far too long

one drop of plots enough for me to know that i have got to go
she predicts everything that stays, and everything that makes me melt away.
but i'm in charge this time

guess we got here right on time, at the end of all the previews
tombstone stare back at me, from here on out it'll always be you
Track Name: Six Ornaments
did you hear what i said today?
did you hear what i said today?

i'm not trying to take advantage of you
i just want to get through these six ornaments
there is a place where i can stay away
from the condescending crowd that bothers me on my birthday.
a cardinal painted blue today.
my ears are ringing from the clanking of your decorations.
your six ornaments
Track Name: What can I do for you
what can i do for you
Track Name: Even if I wanted to
there's a hand in my head. it twists my mind and guides my thoughts off the rails. just when i thought that i could trust it
there's a hand in my head. it turns away just when i need it the most. i can't get close enough to you

(hand in my head)
what you see if what you get, don't believe what they said
(hand in my head)
keep true to the plot, do you want it or not?
(hand in my head)

i wanna be alive but the blood won't stop
i'm finally on the way to recovery
don't ask me if i care, 'cause i care a lot
i'd never tell the truth even if i wanted to
Track Name: Teeth
just get rid of all my teeth
all that they do is bite my cheek
and when you're done my mouth's gone numb
don't say "sorry"
"pay me"

just go back home, you don't belong
laugh it off and try to play along with your apparent mediocrity.
no one says sorry, billy
Track Name: Peace and Cactus
i follow you into the garden
another late night
another passing light
"yeah i'm aware of all my problems, but i can't help myself. all i hear are wedding bells"
i wanna tell you how
how much it makes me feel like an idiot
and nothing else is real
this is so wrong
we'll never get along
tomorrow morning says "you're on your own today"

i follow you onto the back porch
it's almost the new year, your words are unclear
your mumbling sounded so beautiful that i just stood still and misheard every syllable
you want another life, one you don't have to fight
you thought the news today can't be real
wish i could take it back
the sentences that i had
i wasn't thinking when i said "whats the big deal?"
Track Name: Off
don't stand up for me
'cause i'm tall enough to say,
i'm strong enough to stay
and keep quiet

don't look back again
'cause my fear keeps me alive
it's right behind my eyes: in my head

jenny, don't listen to a word they say
they don't matter
okay, it's time to go to sleep now
kiss me goodnight.......and don't come back
Track Name: Desert Story
on a podium, there a blueprint for this song
whirlpooled white with no plan all along
checked off monday as the week starts to roll
can't believe.....honestly......

wide awake i am, as the clock struck 4AM
write a dance til the sun rises again
try to sleep it off you'll be good enough some day
but you still can't sleep!!!! honestly!!!!!!!!
Track Name: Unswitchable
being careful not to set off a trap
all of the better people go straight to hell
bookmarks line my closet
a memoir of the past
my tiny hands could barely fit them all

there is this part of me that wants to become someone unswitchable
the rest of my body feels foreign and i am so uncomfortable
i'm insignificant compared to everyone that's unswitchable
Track Name: Television
we'll escape from television
take some time to make your own mind up
but honestly, TV can't be beat
the flickering screen, i fall asleep

what do you mean end of the line?
(isn't it obvious?)
i can't quit now. my life depends on television
(you're wasting all of your ideas)

we are the wheels of mayhem
destroying boxes upon boxes of our past lives
never to be seen again
Track Name: To be continued...
cut the moon in half
grandfather clock. he goes all around, warning us all: "time don't waste 'cause our resolve is fake and nothing matters it's always the same"